#12. Been A While

Exactly what title says. It's been a while since I posted anything on this tiny little blog I have here, partly because I almost forgot I had a blog here, but partly because I was rather... busy these days.

One of the drawbacks of being a college student is exams. Tomorrow is the last day of my final, and I'm... not taking that well. I just choked down a cup of particularly thick broth of coffee, and my heart is already rejecting it. Gah, as if I've got enough time to finish my studies and shits.

I'm not a big fan of first-person shooters, mostly because I suck at run-and-gun and first perspective shits. (Did I mention I prefer old-fashioned grid maps?) I have absolutely no interest for Call of Duty, but things are different when you happen to live in a country where the nation gives you one - offline. Face it, if your duty as a citizen includes a 21-month army program you look for some alternatives, as in, some divisions where you don't need to be an Asian cousin of Private Pyle. And since all I've got to get over with it is my puny English skills, so... another test I had. I'm waiting for the results, and either I pass or fail, I'll be annoyed as hell.

We don't have much anger control sessions here, or for that matter, not much of a mental care, and I'm like having an nth week of sanity slippage. Maybe I'm to young and naive to take reality as it is and expressing a prime example of escapisim. Maybe I'm just as paranoid and mentally ustable as I thought I am. Maybe it's all just my delusion. Am I happy? Citizen, are you happy? Happiness is mandatory. Duh.

Maybe it's just me and my mysterious zest for RPG, but for some reason I started to take my flaws in character as, well, "character flaws." As if I get extra points for all these flaws I have. I really need to quit this, I know.

So... it's just me, as usual. Nothing to worry about, really. End transmission.

#11. I Don't Remeber My Birthday Was on November?

Persona 5. What. The. Hell. ATLUS. YoumagnificentbastardsIreadyourBOOK! After all that 3DS cute-sy RPG, yet another fighting game, and a freaking dancing game, you go for Persona 5. 'We get off on your tears,' you said. Well played, guys. Well played.

I once read a joke in Japanese web, which goes like this:

User : "This game is freaking hard."
Square Enix : "We promise the next game will be easier."
Nintendo : "Why don't you try this item from this stage? It will do the trick."
From Software : "Oh, then what if we make it harder in the sequel?"
ATLUS : "IKR LOL"

That... just sums it all. ATLUS is a game developer that is sadistic to the marrows, and I love every single bit of it. That grotesque design, that gloomy yet fantastic storyline, that elaborate mythology, and that terrible terrible difficulty... Oh shucks, what a masochist I am.

Anyways... I love you, ATLUS. I seriously love you.

#10. Good Ol' Digimon: Fangame Idea

Digimon. Oh, dear, Digimon. My childhood was half-Pokemon and half-Digimon, if anyone asks me. I made an entire note of original Digimon stuff back in my elementary days. My favorite was Digimon Tamers, more down-to-earth, more "realistic," and definitely most heart-breaking and mind-blowing. (I swear I had nightmare after I watched the first ADR introduction. Sheesh.) Gallantmon/Dukemon fusion was major kick in the arse, hell yeah. By the time I advanced to junior high there was this thing called Digimon Frontier. I watched it, mostly out of nostalgia, and still regrets about it. Damn you, Bandai, with all those awesome designs and interesting settings and you guys come out with this?

Enough of my past story, let's get into this. No offence, but Digimon is kinda dying franchise. It started with spin-off of Tamagotchi, which is already dead for like more than five years. Trading card games died out long ago, and it was so disasterous that Bandai had to reboot the entire system. The videogame was a boom back in Wonder Swan generation, but how's it now? Pokemon is celebrating (with mixed results, but still) its sixth generation, while Digimon is having its version of Ragnarok. As a Digimon fan with good memories, it's kinda sad to let one of my favorite series just die here. So hey, making implausible videogame daydreams is all I do, so here we go:

What is the major characteristic of Digimon? In my opinion there's three of them which is a) Digimon stars one human and one Digimon as a pair, not just human and his/her mon, but more of partners. This already makes a nice coming of age story, which already happened impressive in the Digimon Adventure and rather depressingly in Digimon Tamers. b) Digimon has a fluid approach in 'evolution' system, so Digimon can digivolve into several other Digimons. In videogames, this makes a good features, in a sense more akin to demons in Shin Megami Tensei. c) The very idea of befriending and challenging monsters from digital world, up to and including local computer system and internet. In the year of 2013 and counting, the imagination is just endless, and so is capability. So... How should we put this in videogame?

- Sorry guys, another JRPG. I can't help, it's just my mind that bends practically everything into turn-based role playing games.

- One protagonist, one Digimon. Players should be able to choose the protagonist's gender and partner Digimon.

- Digimon is basically monsters from digital world, right? Its body is composed of data, right? I benchmarked some ideas from Digital Devil Saga, and put it this way. Protagonist wanders around dungeon. Cue random encounter. When partner Digimon defeats random encounter, it acquires some data at the end of the battle. This data can be used for digivolution, item exchange, and some other features.

- Speaking of digivolution, it should be various and powerful. Digimons can digivolve into any other digimons, given the environment and battle records, so this should be integrated in the system. I am thinking of somewhat a fusion of Pokedex from Pokemon and Demonic Compendium from Shin Megami Tensei.

- But hey, what about the tamer? What would the powerless human will do in the bench while his/her loyal monster is having a fierce fight? Tamers and Savers gave us answer: support your partner real-time, or collect enough Digisouls to beat the shit out of your enemies. Unlike traditional turn-based support, which usually involves consuming one entire turn, it can be loosened up a bit, since the main fighter and the supporter is seperated in this system. Perhaps the tamer can do some X-COM-style 'suppression fire' against the enemies, which the Digimon can take advantage from. I didn't watch Savers, so I'm not really sure with beat-em-up, nor do I think it's a good idea.

- I was rather disappointed that Digimon somewhat lacks the internet motif. In fact, one of the thing I really liked in Our War Game! is the network as a background. Now that we live in the world half-fused with the internet, the game could include more of it. Wikipedia server would be a gigantic library, perhaps maintenanced by Wisemons, Google would be a vast sea of data, image boards would be the dark area, and so forth... The possibility is just endless.

Well, that's it for now. It's a bit messy, but it's still a step forward. End transmission.

#9. Some days I'm Having These Days

Assignment hell these days. Stayed all night awake this Monday, and my body's paying the consequences, what with bleeding gums and shits. Depression surges every other moment, and seriously, I have no idea how to overcome my own mental slump. I don't want to be a whiner, which is I should admit what I am. Perhaps this is why I have self-esteem issue, or the other way 'round. Dunno, I gave up thinking too hard on this stuff.

Random thoughts are storming in my brain, and I just can't make 'em clear for now. It's all daydreaming, after all, which is kinda depressing when I realize I'm spending more time in this bullshits than what I'm supposed to do now. What a slacker I am, ha ha.

Did I mention I'm writing all this in 12 A.M.? Talk about self-inflicted insomnia. I'm the type of a person whose heart reacts first when tired, and my heart is composing a piece of dubstep. Better take some sleep, really. End transmission.

#8. "How The World Came Into Being"

Long before the time, the world was one. There was neither light nor darkness, so nothing can be told from any other, and everything stood opaque, undivided. Then one day two things came into being, seperating each other from the rest of the world - Iv, the Bright One, the First Light, rose among others and shone upon the world; Nuun, the Dark One, the First Dusk, crept beneath everything and kept them stood and still. With the light and darkness to tell each other, the world became clearer, and everything in the world found its own shape and color.
Iv and Nuun decided to look after the new, clear world together, but there was one problem: light and darkness could not exist at the same place. It was against their nature. So the twin deities made an arrangement to look after the world in turn - Iv, the Bright One filled the world with glorious and passionate luminisence for one half; Nuun, the Dark One veiled the world with mysterious and soothing darkenss for another half. This is how day and night came into being.
But the twin deities cared the world so much, that they could not stand their respective blank. Thus they made another arrangement, to support each other for their time off. Hence the moon and stars glistened in the night sky, an eye and teardrops of Iv; and shadow draped where the sun does not shine, the generous touch of Nuun.


Finally something more productive than random thoughts and bullshits. I'm not a fan of monotheism, or for that matter, religion in general. Don't get me wrong - I'm by no means an atheist, I just don't care if there is a god (or are gods, in case of polytheism) or not. Yet I love the use of mythology in history, and pretty much every mythology starts with how the world came into being. (There are some exceptions, though: Korean mythology, for example, starts with the god loving the earth and sending his son to marry a bear-turned-human and settle down.) So hey, why not make up a piece of how-the-world-started mythos?

Since my junior high days (which I consider a really old shame, I was young and stupid and emo as hell, meh) I was always curious of what's so wrong with being dark and shady. Partially because I was a dark and shady back then, but also because, hey, light isn't always good and dark isn't always evil. The idea of Yin and Yang in Taoism was pretty interesting to me, in the same token. Everything in the world has light and darkness at the same time, they can't be seperated and aren't supposed to, and neither of them is good or evil, they're just how the world is supposed to be. I took the idea to create the twin gods of Iv and Nuun. It was only a few weeks ago I came up with, hey, the moon is bright in the night and there's always shadow where the sun doesn't shine. This was a happy discovery to myself, and the story became more detailed.

If there is a church of Iv and Nuun, I think it will look quite alike to Catholic church. Maybe it's because of my lack of imagination. End transmission.

#7. Talk About Magic

I've been working on my daydreaming and delusions, and mark you, when you take these things seriously it's a long way to go. Take magic, for example. I know the concept itself is fantastic, but when you dig this thing it's not as simple as it sounds. So here's what I've got, with some help from TV Tropes article "Functional Magic":

- The classic JRPG kind of magic. As a JRPG fan, this is the most familiar kind of magic system to me. You just learn, and you can just spam 'em as much as your Magic Point (MP, sometimes SP or PP, whatever) allows. It's the easiest sort of stuff to use in videogames, but then, if you want some more "realistic" idea of fantasy world, it's hell of a way to put this into the settings. Who would want to pick up sword and charge when you can just spam fireballs? Fictions elaborate this with more plausible backgrounds, such as "Magic is all about inherent talent" or "It takes like hell to learn magic."

- The good ol' Vancian magic, a.k.a. Dungeons & Dragons kind of magic. D&D has a rather interesting approach in magic (to Eastern audience like myself, at least) since it uses "fire and forget" kind of magic. You memorize magic A, you use it, and it's gone. Rince and repeat. This makes magic a lot more strategic, as well as balancing the concept of magic with being almighty and handy yet risky to use carelessly. For some reason I have the idea of Magic the Gathering or Yu-Gi-Oh kind of trading card games have similar system. Discard and draw, perhaps. It's still interesting to adopt Vancian magic in videogames, but that isn't really appealing to more causal gamers. Sometimes the idea of "forget what you just took like eight hours to read in one go" gets mocked, as in the first book of Discworld series.

- A variant of Vancian magic. The idea is to store magic not in your head but somewhere else, and when needed you get magic out of the substance and into you head, or just blast 'em directly. In D&D spellbooks, wands and staffs are mostly used in this fashion, unlike the more popular idea of "the must," as in Harry Potter. It is still used for a means of using magic, since it justifies the use of magic by non-magic kind of people. Too bad not many JRPGs go for this idea, except for those "cursed" equipments that cling up to the character's body.

- Cult magic, or as I would prefer to call, Call of Cthulhu kind of magic. Anyone can cast magic, sometimes as easy as cooking, but then, anyone can go mad from knowing too much, and apparently the world doesn't give a shit. Magic in CoC is initially concealed from public and used among cultists and mythos beings, but once the investigators get their hand on one of it they can attempt to use in anywhere, anytime. At the cost of some magic points (which doubles as your mental stamina, as in, you faint when it hits zero) and your sanity. The more you meddle with magic, the more you slip from slippery side of mental health. Did I mention that most initial use of magic gives you Mythos skill points, which gnaws off your upper limit of sanity? On the brighter side, magic in CoC is worth trying, since it really is strong, from punching people unconscious with invisible forces to downright summoning great ol' Cthulhu and his whole family. High-risk, high-return. Full stop. It might be clever to integrate in videogames, especially in horror games. In non-horror role playing games, I guess not so much.

- A more "realistic" variant of magic, which have appeared a lot in history around the world. When you hear "arcane" in magic, this is the real McCoy. The basis is that, magic is nothing more than the right action and right ritual in right time, right place, with right knowledge. Back in history, way before scientific method was invented, this was how people researched and learned stuff, and this is how knowledge was made and passed down. With some good imagination this would make some awesome magic sequence, but it's a tragic thing it's not cut out for videogames. Chanting and time-consuming sequence is more of a cinematic events, not actual gaming system.

Correct me if I got wrong on these stuffs, I'm still learning and peer review is one of the best method of education. End transmission.

#5. Quick Idea: Deconstructing "Wake Up, Go to School, Save the World" Stuff

I came up with this moment just a few seconds ago, and I'm writing this in a rush because I am very well aware that my short-term memory is virtually nonexistent. I was loafing around, as usual, at good ol' TV Tropes, and I came up with Deconstruction. Beautiful trope, I love this one, mostly because a well-played Deconstruction means another good series to enjoy. Then my mind somehow connected this to Persona 4, and here I am.

The premise of Persona 4 is quite simple. Wake up, go to school, save the world. You have this awesome power to crush cards into mythological figures to kick some shadowy ass, and you have wonderful friends around you whom you rescue and add to your team. You are given plenty of time to go to school, study hard, enjoy club activities, and most importantly, make Social Links with other people, which in turn enhances your Persona power. Lovely game, one of my favorites, very well played.

And there's this one.

Imagine if Souji/Yu/Whoever found out this Midnight Channel thing all by himself, and never told anyone else. He is the only one who knows the very existence of shadowy world in the otherwise peaceful town of Inaba, and for some reason he is devoted to work on all by himself. Yosuke and Chie never believes him, thinking he is taking urban legend too seriously. (Perhaps Teddie isn't helpful as well, or better, he isn't there - perhaps MC found out how to get out of TV world all by himself?) And so our mighty protagonist fight on his own, all alone, in the misty otherworld that cares as much as this puny little intruder as just another hindrance in the system. Speaking of which, the protagonist takes all this too well, doesn't he? I mean, if I was the one who was stuck in television and had some rough night with monstrous subconscious bullshits, I would be stuck in my room, with a serious degree of TV-phobia. If I didn't kill myself at the moment, that is.

That was an example of Persona 4, but the idea is there. Imagine the protagonist (for some reason I have the image of a girl rather than a boy... Puella Magi Madoka Magica, anyone?) discovers an otherworld, so monstrous and apathetic, wanting humanity wiped away or something. The protagonist is given power to equally fight against the horde of destruction, but even that doesn't keep her sanity from slipping down the slope. She can't tell the others, for she is very well aware that no one would believe such horrible madness she has experienced. She can't concentrate on class, she has trouble with other people, she can't sleep tight... And yet she still has to fight, because she knows damn well that someone has to fight, and that happens to be her.

Special thanks to Puella Magi Madoka Magica and Sailor Nothing for inspiring me more. End transmission.

#4. Insomnia Strikes Again + Yet Another Brain Cleaning

Pretty much what title says. Insomnia claims yet another victim, only I'm not much of a victim than a regular visit. It's getting worse these days, god knows why.

While I'm at it, I'd like to talk about this random bullshit that's been haunting my brain cells for weeks. I'm a small fan of Kamen Rider franchise, and have watched through Fourze and Wizard. I have also watched some episodes from Faiz, Blade, Den-O and Double, but not the whole series. I like the idea of superhero stuff, both Eastern and Western, and Kamen Rider has its distinct traits that I can't quite put it but still fascinates me.

So here's a thing - what about I write something like that myself? Short, and perhaps not as entertaining as the original one, but still. But here comes the twist - instead of one superhero that saves the day, I'd like to add a non-superpower character and a Kaijin (simply put, a Monster of the Week) as a major character. Just like Faiz. I'll just call them Hero, Everyman and Beast, for convenience.

Let us say there are three traits that make the perfect character: Truth, Power and Justice. Every three main characters lack one of them each, and that makes the plot moving on. Hero has Power and Justice, but has no idea of the Truth regarding his superpower and villians. Everyman has Justice and Truth, but has no Power to execute his/her justice. Beast has Power and Truth, but lacks Justice to put his power for the greater good.

Kamen Rider has a tradition of having a common source of power for both Riders and MotW, so I'll keep it that way. Let us say that there is a serum that boosts physical ability and limited supernatural power, in exchange of human appearance. Some evil bastards took this in their hands, manufactured a bunch of it, and sold to whoever willing to buy this stuff. Hero has his suit to use this serum indirectly, so he has full control on his power, but he doesn't know this mechanism. Perhaps some sort of Hero Inc. found him fit, just, and naive enough to use him as their pawn.

Beast is one of the client of those Villian syndicate, and uses serum to turn into a kaijin. He works as an "insurance" for other syndicates, while he works on his/her own for the truth behind the serum. Since Beast lacks justice, this would be purely out of personal gain, or something little more than that. Perhaps he finds out the truth, and blackmails the Villian behind the serum.

Everyman is a journalist - imagine Shinji from Ryuki, minus the belt. He is after the mess made by civilians-turned-monster and a mysterious heroic figure, and probably will find out the secrets and truth behind the monsters and everything. He will achieve this in hard ways, though - he is no Clark Kent, so chances are he will be saved a few times by Hero, threatened by Beast, and overall go through some really rough days in his life.

Well, that's it for now. I have proved myself to lack any endurance or shits to keep on writing stuffs for more than one chapter, and I doubt I'll get over with it. Premature, anyone? End transmission.

#3. Shin Megami Tensei: The Fangame Ideas and Bullshits, Part 1

I was introduced to Shin Megami Tensei franchise at the last year of my high school life. I was a mythology whore when I was in junior high, so not much surprise around here. I mean, who wouldn't love a game where you can go "Gotta Catch'em All" on mythological figures, be it demons, angels, skeletons with attitude, fairies, beasts, gods, and that cute little hee-ho thing? That depressing and yet awesome storyline, that grotesque, metallic and kick-ass design my "Demon Artist" Kaneko Kazuma, and that soundtrack... just dat soundtrack... I loved every single elements of the franchise, and I still am now.

And then ATLUS went bankrupt. What the hell.

Then I had yet another surge of meaningless idea of making a fangame of the franchise. Here are some ideas and bullshits I've written down myself, so if you have some times in your hand, feel free to waste them all reading these stuffs.

- I have a rather twisted sense of perfectism, as in, I get carried away with nothing very special at all. It is why I wanted this fangame to embrace pretty much anything that was introduced in the franchise. I know it's impossible, but still.

- The game would be JRPG, with dungeon crawling elements. Duh.

- Alignment systems will be used. Law stands for rules, justice, oppression and superdickery. Chaos stands for freedom, natural selection, barbarism and jerkassery. Neutral stands for balance, choice, apathy and fuck-you-all. Players have full control on which alignments they lean on. and it will affect demon control and endings.

- Press Turn System will be used in the battle. For starters, it goes like this: At the beginning of your turn, you get one full turn for every members in your party. each action you take will take full turn. If you attack your enemy and it was its weakness, you get a "half turn," which can be used as a full turn. If you attack your enemy and it nullified your attack, you lose a turn in addition to a turn you just used. If your enemy drained or reflected your attack, you lose every single turn you have. The same applies to your enemies.

- I've never played Strange Journey or Digital Devil Saga myself, but I kinda liked what they did there. SJ had Demon Co-Op, and DDS had Skill Link. Demon Co-Op works like this: Since SJ doesn't use Press Turn System, it's like a simplified version of it. If you attack your enemy with its weakness, you give an additional blow on them with your party members that shares your alignment. Skill Link is using higher-tier skill by combining skills with your party members, and use additional turns.

- The first game introduced Law Hero and Chaos Hero, both of whom starts as your partner but oppose you depending on your alignment. I like the idea, it's a cool way to introduce and develop character, so I'd like to have my own version of Law Hero and Chaos Hero in the fangame.

- If... is too old for me, but I kinda liked the idea of choosing gender of the protagonist. Then Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire kicks in - when you choose one, the other becomes the main NPC and becomes your partner or rival, depending on your alignment. This will make a good Neutral Hero, along with Law Hero and Chaos Hero.

- The original SMT, with the exception of Nocturne, has COMP and Demon Summoning Program as key items. Recent games like SJ, Devil Survivor and IV even had app system to enhance COMP in battle. (The "Gauntlet" in IV looked cool, didn't it?) I kinda liked the way Devil Survivor 2 portrayed cell phones as a simplified version of COMP. Now we have smartphones Google Glass, so all we need is STEVEN distributing Devil Summoning Program to random people.

- I am a big fan of history, and was sorta impressed how Fate series came up with idea of summoning historical figures to wage war on another historical figures. Devil Summoner had Rasputin, Persona 2 had Hitler, so it would make sense, don't you think? Of course, this being SMT fangame, I don't want to get carried away with this one. If I have to use this, I want keep it minimum.

Well, that's it for now. End transmission.

#2. Game Designer Delusion

Another 1 A.M. post. It's a long story, perhaps, and actually I'm losing track of this bullshit that's gotten into my head, so it would be rather hard to explain. But still, here we go...

My high school life was, I should say, nonexistent. I wasn't social enough to draw any attention from any other fellow students, and my school was rough for geeks. I lived three years in dorm, more than thirty miles away from my home. For the few months I had some hard time, what with being geek and temporary paranoid and whatnot, but I adjusted to my new habitat as a nonexistent man. I took a step away from anyone in the class, and did only what I had to do. I hardly cared about so called "making memories" stuffs, and concentrated on what I did best, that is, geeking out.

It was about then when I was introduced to some Japanese indie games. Touhou Project by Team Shanghai Alice (it's a one-man team, by the way) and Cave Story by Pixel Studio (another one-man team) what I admired. Both of them were decent games, one is a bullet hell shmup with cute fantasy girls and kickass music, and another is an action game with nostialgic sprites chiptune music. I was fascinated, I was enchanted, I was just mad at them. In fact, I was mad at the fact that one man can create an entire game out of nothing, nothing at all, and it has ever since been my motivation to keep up with my bullshits in my head.

Life gives you lemon, really. I majored in Japanese, then English, and frankly speaking, I'm not talented in anything related to making games. I can't program, I can't draw or design, I can't compose or play intruments. All I can do is just daydreaming, just hoping for my fantasy games coming true. Sure, making up your mind may be the first step, but making up mind only results in nothing. I have to admit, I'm good for nothing when it comes to making games.

Yet I dream of making games. Yet I dream of games, so many games, and wish them come true. Every other moment I write some random stuffs on my notebooks and notepad, draw some doodles that I justified myself as "concept arts," and brainwash myself that one day I could be a game designer.

I really need to wake up from my own dream, and get a life. End transmission.

#1. First Step

It's 1 A.M. and I just made this blog. Sometimes insomnia inspires me more than anything, or as I should put it, at least motivate me to do whatever other than just lying in the bed.

Allow me to introduce myself. I'm a self-proclaimed weirdo (if my handle name didn't make it clear enough) and pretty much anyone around me agrees with me. I don't speak English as my mother tongue, but without it, I'm little more than incompetent. I'm not the best example of socially aware, and at least I want to claim myself to be asexual. (Why would anyone have any erotic inclination toward me, anyway?) My psyche is officially messed up, and recently my counsellor have announced me that I might have a slight chance of having a depression. (Gosh, who would've guessed?) Oh, and I'm a big fan of so-called sub-culture, especially Japanese animes and games. Currently I'm digging Shin Megami Tensei franchise, and actually writing some concept ideas of a fangame.

Speaking of writing concepts, that's all I'm doing. Yeah. Err. Writing concepts. I'm not good with making anything useful out of anything, I haven't learn to programming, graphic designing, music composing, and while I'm on it, I'm pretty much good for nothing. All I do is daydreaming, writing some wacky stuffs, and waiting for it to come true. What a weirdo I am.

I made this blog to write some random stuffs, to do get some brainstorming ideas out of my skull, to clean up my moth-eaten piece of matter I should call my brain. Some of the ideas could be interesting to someone other than myself, but I'm pretty sure that not many would follow what the hell am I talking about. But that matters little anymore - at 1 A.M. you get this funny sort of enlightment that, it's whole lot better than keeping these extravaganzas in your head just for the hell of it.

That's pretty much everything I've got to say for now. End transmission.