#14. Back... For A While.

Long time no post. As I have written months ago I have been working for public service known as "army," and there's not much internet in there. I took some days off and today is the last one of it. Should have used all those time for something more useful, I regret, but hey, sooner or later time will take care of everything.


I have something to write really quick, for I am running out of time. In the army I have been thinking: Why did I start calling myself Weirdo in the first place? Why is this blog called Workshop when there is nothing much to work? What do I want to do, and why? I sorta came up with some answers, and here it goes.

I call myself weirdo because, well, that is what I am. It took me almost 20 solid years to realize and admit that I am not just a geek or nerd, but a freak, a weirdo. I realized that my interest is not like the others when I was like fifteen or so, and I kinda rejected the fact. Only when I was eighteen, when I wrote my first (failed) scenario I had to admit that, hey, this is what I should do for the rest of my life. It is said that humanity has three basic desire - eat, sleep, and, ahem, fuck. It was like I have the fourth desire, to make stories. What to do with it, no one knows, even myself.

This blog was supposed to be my official site, in case I go stranger than usual and manage to write something truly interesting. Now that I think of it, I was trying too hard. I am antisocial to the bone (but again, who isn't?) and thought anyone can be the next ZUN or Studio Pixel if they try their strangest. Hell, it's called Team Shanghai Alice and Studio Pixel but everyone knows that both of them are in fact one brilliant man. I was seventeen when I thought, hey, I can do that, and started to work on my own. Hence the big-titled Weirdo Workshop.

What do I want to do? Write something interesting. Why do I want to do that? Dunno. In fact, someone tell me why. I just do that, like breathing. It's just that I cannot write anything funny or interesting or entertaining.


I have always thought I was unique, and there's no mind like mine. I was wrong. I met this weirdo in the army, and hell, this guy is my spritual replica. (Or am I his spiritual replica? Damn you, Zhuang Zhou.) This experience shocked me into thinking something even stranger: the Earth is populated by like seven billion humans. Let's say that one percent, no, one percent of one percent (that would be one-ten-thousands) of the population is someone like me. Someone addicted to stories and bullshits. That makes seventy thousand weirdos out there. Imagine someone collects them all, and start a project. My guess is that seventy thousand weirdos can make at least one videogame in a decade, if they are motivated enough.

That's what I have in mind. Lucky this blog is named Workshop.

So, well... if anyone is reading this, and anyone is interested in making something interesting, please let me know. Perhaps we can make something entertaining together. Perhaps we can be the next Nintendo. Perhaps people might know who we are, and love what we have made. All of this is just a speculation, except for this - it will be freakin' awesome.


I guess that's it for now. End transmission.

#13. Been A While. Again.

What the title says. I was out for aeons, wasn't I? Lots of things happened while I was away, including army stuffs. Yes, we have mandatory military service 'round here, and it's my turn to work for my dear mother country. I'll be away for some more, but I'll be writing more bullshits here.

Other than that... well, nothing much. Sometimes my life is so boring that Rincewind will (not!) die for it. End transmission.

#12. Been A While

Exactly what title says. It's been a while since I posted anything on this tiny little blog I have here, partly because I almost forgot I had a blog here, but partly because I was rather... busy these days.

One of the drawbacks of being a college student is exams. Tomorrow is the last day of my final, and I'm... not taking that well. I just choked down a cup of particularly thick broth of coffee, and my heart is already rejecting it. Gah, as if I've got enough time to finish my studies and shits.

I'm not a big fan of first-person shooters, mostly because I suck at run-and-gun and first perspective shits. (Did I mention I prefer old-fashioned grid maps?) I have absolutely no interest for Call of Duty, but things are different when you happen to live in a country where the nation gives you one - offline. Face it, if your duty as a citizen includes a 21-month army program you look for some alternatives, as in, some divisions where you don't need to be an Asian cousin of Private Pyle. And since all I've got to get over with it is my puny English skills, so... another test I had. I'm waiting for the results, and either I pass or fail, I'll be annoyed as hell.

We don't have much anger control sessions here, or for that matter, not much of a mental care, and I'm like having an nth week of sanity slippage. Maybe I'm to young and naive to take reality as it is and expressing a prime example of escapisim. Maybe I'm just as paranoid and mentally ustable as I thought I am. Maybe it's all just my delusion. Am I happy? Citizen, are you happy? Happiness is mandatory. Duh.

Maybe it's just me and my mysterious zest for RPG, but for some reason I started to take my flaws in character as, well, "character flaws." As if I get extra points for all these flaws I have. I really need to quit this, I know.

So... it's just me, as usual. Nothing to worry about, really. End transmission.

#11. I Don't Remeber My Birthday Was on November?

Persona 5. What. The. Hell. ATLUS. YoumagnificentbastardsIreadyourBOOK! After all that 3DS cute-sy RPG, yet another fighting game, and a freaking dancing game, you go for Persona 5. 'We get off on your tears,' you said. Well played, guys. Well played.

I once read a joke in Japanese web, which goes like this:

User : "This game is freaking hard."
Square Enix : "We promise the next game will be easier."
Nintendo : "Why don't you try this item from this stage? It will do the trick."
From Software : "Oh, then what if we make it harder in the sequel?"
ATLUS : "IKR LOL"

That... just sums it all. ATLUS is a game developer that is sadistic to the marrows, and I love every single bit of it. That grotesque design, that gloomy yet fantastic storyline, that elaborate mythology, and that terrible terrible difficulty... Oh shucks, what a masochist I am.

Anyways... I love you, ATLUS. I seriously love you.

#9. Some days I'm Having These Days

Assignment hell these days. Stayed all night awake this Monday, and my body's paying the consequences, what with bleeding gums and shits. Depression surges every other moment, and seriously, I have no idea how to overcome my own mental slump. I don't want to be a whiner, which is I should admit what I am. Perhaps this is why I have self-esteem issue, or the other way 'round. Dunno, I gave up thinking too hard on this stuff.

Random thoughts are storming in my brain, and I just can't make 'em clear for now. It's all daydreaming, after all, which is kinda depressing when I realize I'm spending more time in this bullshits than what I'm supposed to do now. What a slacker I am, ha ha.

Did I mention I'm writing all this in 12 A.M.? Talk about self-inflicted insomnia. I'm the type of a person whose heart reacts first when tired, and my heart is composing a piece of dubstep. Better take some sleep, really. End transmission.

#4. Insomnia Strikes Again + Yet Another Brain Cleaning

Pretty much what title says. Insomnia claims yet another victim, only I'm not much of a victim than a regular visit. It's getting worse these days, god knows why.

While I'm at it, I'd like to talk about this random bullshit that's been haunting my brain cells for weeks. I'm a small fan of Kamen Rider franchise, and have watched through Fourze and Wizard. I have also watched some episodes from Faiz, Blade, Den-O and Double, but not the whole series. I like the idea of superhero stuff, both Eastern and Western, and Kamen Rider has its distinct traits that I can't quite put it but still fascinates me.

So here's a thing - what about I write something like that myself? Short, and perhaps not as entertaining as the original one, but still. But here comes the twist - instead of one superhero that saves the day, I'd like to add a non-superpower character and a Kaijin (simply put, a Monster of the Week) as a major character. Just like Faiz. I'll just call them Hero, Everyman and Beast, for convenience.

Let us say there are three traits that make the perfect character: Truth, Power and Justice. Every three main characters lack one of them each, and that makes the plot moving on. Hero has Power and Justice, but has no idea of the Truth regarding his superpower and villians. Everyman has Justice and Truth, but has no Power to execute his/her justice. Beast has Power and Truth, but lacks Justice to put his power for the greater good.

Kamen Rider has a tradition of having a common source of power for both Riders and MotW, so I'll keep it that way. Let us say that there is a serum that boosts physical ability and limited supernatural power, in exchange of human appearance. Some evil bastards took this in their hands, manufactured a bunch of it, and sold to whoever willing to buy this stuff. Hero has his suit to use this serum indirectly, so he has full control on his power, but he doesn't know this mechanism. Perhaps some sort of Hero Inc. found him fit, just, and naive enough to use him as their pawn.

Beast is one of the client of those Villian syndicate, and uses serum to turn into a kaijin. He works as an "insurance" for other syndicates, while he works on his/her own for the truth behind the serum. Since Beast lacks justice, this would be purely out of personal gain, or something little more than that. Perhaps he finds out the truth, and blackmails the Villian behind the serum.

Everyman is a journalist - imagine Shinji from Ryuki, minus the belt. He is after the mess made by civilians-turned-monster and a mysterious heroic figure, and probably will find out the secrets and truth behind the monsters and everything. He will achieve this in hard ways, though - he is no Clark Kent, so chances are he will be saved a few times by Hero, threatened by Beast, and overall go through some really rough days in his life.

Well, that's it for now. I have proved myself to lack any endurance or shits to keep on writing stuffs for more than one chapter, and I doubt I'll get over with it. Premature, anyone? End transmission.

#2. Game Designer Delusion

Another 1 A.M. post. It's a long story, perhaps, and actually I'm losing track of this bullshit that's gotten into my head, so it would be rather hard to explain. But still, here we go...

My high school life was, I should say, nonexistent. I wasn't social enough to draw any attention from any other fellow students, and my school was rough for geeks. I lived three years in dorm, more than thirty miles away from my home. For the few months I had some hard time, what with being geek and temporary paranoid and whatnot, but I adjusted to my new habitat as a nonexistent man. I took a step away from anyone in the class, and did only what I had to do. I hardly cared about so called "making memories" stuffs, and concentrated on what I did best, that is, geeking out.

It was about then when I was introduced to some Japanese indie games. Touhou Project by Team Shanghai Alice (it's a one-man team, by the way) and Cave Story by Pixel Studio (another one-man team) what I admired. Both of them were decent games, one is a bullet hell shmup with cute fantasy girls and kickass music, and another is an action game with nostialgic sprites chiptune music. I was fascinated, I was enchanted, I was just mad at them. In fact, I was mad at the fact that one man can create an entire game out of nothing, nothing at all, and it has ever since been my motivation to keep up with my bullshits in my head.

Life gives you lemon, really. I majored in Japanese, then English, and frankly speaking, I'm not talented in anything related to making games. I can't program, I can't draw or design, I can't compose or play intruments. All I can do is just daydreaming, just hoping for my fantasy games coming true. Sure, making up your mind may be the first step, but making up mind only results in nothing. I have to admit, I'm good for nothing when it comes to making games.

Yet I dream of making games. Yet I dream of games, so many games, and wish them come true. Every other moment I write some random stuffs on my notebooks and notepad, draw some doodles that I justified myself as "concept arts," and brainwash myself that one day I could be a game designer.

I really need to wake up from my own dream, and get a life. End transmission.

#1. First Step

It's 1 A.M. and I just made this blog. Sometimes insomnia inspires me more than anything, or as I should put it, at least motivate me to do whatever other than just lying in the bed.

Allow me to introduce myself. I'm a self-proclaimed weirdo (if my handle name didn't make it clear enough) and pretty much anyone around me agrees with me. I don't speak English as my mother tongue, but without it, I'm little more than incompetent. I'm not the best example of socially aware, and at least I want to claim myself to be asexual. (Why would anyone have any erotic inclination toward me, anyway?) My psyche is officially messed up, and recently my counsellor have announced me that I might have a slight chance of having a depression. (Gosh, who would've guessed?) Oh, and I'm a big fan of so-called sub-culture, especially Japanese animes and games. Currently I'm digging Shin Megami Tensei franchise, and actually writing some concept ideas of a fangame.

Speaking of writing concepts, that's all I'm doing. Yeah. Err. Writing concepts. I'm not good with making anything useful out of anything, I haven't learn to programming, graphic designing, music composing, and while I'm on it, I'm pretty much good for nothing. All I do is daydreaming, writing some wacky stuffs, and waiting for it to come true. What a weirdo I am.

I made this blog to write some random stuffs, to do get some brainstorming ideas out of my skull, to clean up my moth-eaten piece of matter I should call my brain. Some of the ideas could be interesting to someone other than myself, but I'm pretty sure that not many would follow what the hell am I talking about. But that matters little anymore - at 1 A.M. you get this funny sort of enlightment that, it's whole lot better than keeping these extravaganzas in your head just for the hell of it.

That's pretty much everything I've got to say for now. End transmission.